Accismus

4/23/2021 1:00 AM

I am enamoured by the raw decay of a once deep friendship.

Indecision and her gnashing teeth have found their place:

Our love— a gaping hole.

My tears gave tooth to your bitter words

And the weight of those that were unshed ache within my soul.

I loved you without restraint

When I should have put a shackle to my throat.

I poured out my already bleeding soul

And watched as you drained me dry.

Was it my fault that I loved?

I have relived our days over and over:

Living within the shadows of our memories.

My tongue has licked over the bleeding gap I once found so familiar.

I taste the bitter shards that rip my lips and tongue;

All for a lingering taste of you.

I would bear open my heart again just to relive those conversations

And experience whatever lingered in the silence between us.

My words claim hatred for you,

But I can’t help but to spill the love

I push deeper into my broken heart.

Why must I long for such a painful thing?

How many times will I let you break my heart and desecrate my soul?

My dearest, it is as long as I still love you.